9. The CONCACAF Hexagonal Telenovela (An Epic Poem of Tragedy & Triumph)
¡PERO ROGELIO! ¡ES TÚ HIJO! Okay, so there wasn’t any baby mama drama in this telenovela. What there was, though, was one of the wildest seasons in CONCACAF’s (Confederation of North, Central American and Caribbean Association Football) World Cup qualifying (a.k.a. the Hexagonal) tournament.
Team USA led the pack with a perfect home record thanks to the genius of coach Jürgen Klinsmann while Costa Rica came in right behind them with a great record. The real heartache and insanity came at the hands of the ineptitude of Jose Manuel “El Chepo” De La Torre, whose failures led Mexico through its roughest patch at qualifying yet. That, however, was good news for Panama who was literally a few goals away from heading to its very first World Cup tournament.
What followed in the final games of the Hexagonal were pure displays of glory and tragedy that only a system of aggregate points can provide. Both Mexico and Panama had mostly tied their way through qualifying with a victory here and there…until September arrived. It was then that Chepo lost to Honduras 2 – 1 at the Azteca and, rather than blame himself for not responding to his opponent’s strategic shift in formation, pinned the blame on a young defender. Mexico’s federation had finally had enough and fired him hours later. Meanwhile, Panama played to a scoreless standstill against last-place Jamaica. Costa Rica, on the other hand, walloped USA by a score of 3 – 1 as payback for forcing them to play in the snow back in March.
Three days later, Luis Fernando Tena begrudgingly took control of El Trí for their game against the USA and lost #DosaCero. Panama, however, managed to clock in a second goal to tie Honduras for a point. This was it! Both teams were now neck-to-neck for a ticket to ultimate glory and both needed victories. Unfortunately, they were now also at the mercy of the results of their competitors for the final duels in October.
Of course, it just so happened that the penultimate qualifying match on October 11th was between Mexico and Panama. Mexico, now under the guidance of the highly-lauded Victor Manuel Vucetich, needed nothing but positive results against the combined might of twin brothers Julio Dely and Jorge Dely Valdés.
It all started off just fine with Oribe Peralta opening the game up on the 39th minute. Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez missed a chance at increasing the lead with a failed penalty shot. El Trí held on until the 81st minute when Luis “El Matador” Tejada tied the game up giving Panama the advantage on total aggregate points.
But then…it happened! Quetzalcóatl and Huitzilopochtli combined their powers from above to raise their children and silence all of Central America with one goal, the beautiful Jimenez goal, that gave Mexico the victory it desperately needed.
There went the ball…off the post…in the net…the crowd went insane, the world looked on in shock and even the haters applauded. Mexico defeated Panama and kept its dreams alive.
UNTIL FOUR DAYS LATER!!!
The victory, no matter how grand, was just one game of two. And, even then, both teams were fighting for the fourth-place wild card spot, which would require another two games against Oceania Group winner New Zealand for a spot at the World Cup.
The geniuses behind CONCACAF decided to schedule all three matches during the same time, 6:30pm Pacific on October 15th. None of this was good news for the nerves or health of either Mexicans or Panamanians. It did, however, make for one the most tense moments ever in World Cup qualifying.
Here, then, is a little play-by-play of the collective heart attack suffered by thousands as it happened between the two games that mattered the most: Costa Rica vs. Mexico and Panama vs. USA.
00’ (1830 hours Pacific): kick-off at Estadio Nacional de Costa Rica and the Estadio Rommel Fernández in Panama City.
18’: Gabriel Torres scores for Panama. Panama’s ticket is secured at the moment.
24’: Bryan Ruiz scores for Costa Rica. Mexico is doomed…
28’: …until Oribe Peralta responds with the tie. Mexico’s ticket is secured.
63’: Alvaro Saborío heads one in for Costa Rica. All is lost for Mexico for about 60 seconds when…
64’: …Michael Orozco, the same Chicano player who gave Team USA its first-ever win against Mexico at the Azteca, scores against Panama. The game in Panama City is tied and Panamanian hopes are, for the moment, gone.
83’: Commentator Andres Cantor yells “¡¡¡ATENCIÓN ATENCIÓN ATENCIÓN!!!” from his box in the Estadio Nacional press box. “El Matador” Tejada strikes again for Panama giving them a 2 – 1 lead. Mexico is doomed once again. Costa Ricans in the stadium hear of the news via social media/the stadium scoreboard/big screen and immediately start cheering. If there’s anything that unites Central American soccer fans, it’s their hatred of Mexico.
90’: Jamaican referee Courtney Campbell announces three extra minutes of overtime in Panama City.
92’: “¡¡¡ATENCIÓN ATENCIÓN ATENCIÓN!!!” Graham Zusi of Team USA scores, tying the game. A tie is not enough to send Panama to New Zealand. Panama is out unless they can pull a miracle in 60 seconds.
93’: “¡¡¡ATENCIÓN ATENCIÓN ATENCIÓN!!!” Panama’s defense crumbles horribly as USMNT forward Aron Jóhannsson stuns EVERYONE with a last second goal in Panama City. Panama is DEFINITELY out now. #YoureWelcomeMexico trends on Twitter as the debt to Mexico for filling the USA’s youth league with players worth a damn is finally repaid. President Ricardo Martinelli calls for a national day of mourning in Panama.
Panama has yet to qualify for a World Cup tournament. Meanwhile, Mexico defeated New Zealand in both games of the wild card race and will be in Brazil next summer.
That, my friends, is one HELL of a ride.
8. Raul Jimenez, Oribe Peralta Among Recipients of CONCACAF Awards
Mexico may have played its worst Hexagonal ever this year but that didn’t mean that fans recognized the good stuff when they saw it. Raul Jimenez’s chilena at the Azteca against Panama was voted as the Goal of the Year. Meanwhile, Oribe Peralta’s work as a striker earned him the CONCACAF Player of the Year award. It was his work in the final matches of qualifying that earned him the award. In fact, even when not including the games against New Zealand, he still managed to score the majority of goals in the Hexagonal and scored in every game he started.
7. Monterrey Wins Third Straight CONCACAF Champions League Title In A Row
Aye, Monterrey, why you so greedy right now? The club from Mexico has pulled a record with its three straight wins in the CONCACAF Champions League.
The series pit’s the best clubs from North America, Central America, and the Caribbean against each other. The team to win the tournament wins bragging rights as the best club in CONCACAF and Monterrey has secured those rights with three back-to-back wins.
They destroyed the dreams of Real Salt Lake, hoping to become only the second US club to win the title, in 2011, defeated Mexican club rivals Santos Laguna in 2012, and again in 2013 in a rematch of the previous year. The funny thing is that both Mexican clubs defeated US clubs (Los Angeles Galaxy and Seattle Sounders) in the semis this year to advance to the final. Sick burn, brah!
6. Álvaro Saborio Voted MLS Latino Player of the Year
When not scoring goals with the Costa Rican national team, Álvaro Saborio is scoring goals with US club Real Salt Lake. The tico signed with the MLS team in 2010 on loan and on a more permanent basis in 2011. Saborio has since become the club’s leading scorer with a total of 40 goals with the club so far and is one of their go-to guys for goals.
5. Atlético Mineiro Wins Its First Copa Libertadores Title
Ah, the Copa Libertadores…the original Champions League of South America (and, since 2000, also including Mexico). This year’s title went to Brazilian club Atlético Mineiro who won its first-ever Copa Libertadores title since its founding in 1908.
Club Olimpia of Paraguay (the -guay suffixed country that hasn’t legalized “it”) held strong against Mineiro in the first leg with a 2 – 0 lead. Mineiro, however, struck back in game two and defeated their rivals in penalty kicks.
The victory was also a big one for Brazilian legend Ronaldinho who many considered him past his prime. He silenced all the haters by lifting his (and his team’s) first Copa Libertadores title. And his free kicks? As jaw-dropping and accurate as ever.